of a New Enthusiast
by Carson Cistulli
My thoroughgoing contempt for Carson Cistulli the non-man is such that I was prepared to detest the folio in your hands. His inner rot, outward miserableness, and corpse-reanimating aromas are such that I could not believe anything of worth could be sourced from his pallid, booger-flecked claws. In all other aspects of his life, he is a defeat-smith. When single-finger pecking out words in precise sequences, such as he has done here, though, Carson Cistulli rises above the ghastly remainder of Carson Cistulli. This is much too worthwhile, too full of craft to have been actually written by Carson Cistulli, is what I’m saying.
Mitzvah Chaps is embarrassed to continue its tradition of printing the Internet — started with Dayn Perry’s Drinking With Boileryard Clarke — with a tiny, comely, and yet somehow disappointing volume by Mr Cistulli, based on his Internet weblog The New Enthusiast. Known on the ‘net for his attempts at wit and style that render clear at every turn his adoration of New England boarding schools, here Mr Cistulli charms with ample but subdued self-deprecation — and ampler and less subdued Dayn-Perry-deprecation.
Please, have some Cistulli. It’s just $9 USD per copy. (Includes shipping within these United States. Please inquire about international shipping by emailing mitzvahchaps [at] gmail [dot] com.)
Carson Cistulli is the author of a full-length collection of poems, Some Common Weaknesses Illustrated, and is an editor at the baseball analytics weblog FanGraphs. He lives in New Hampshire.